Love, or the city of love: that is the question. But what is the answer? Surely it should be as clear cut as a 24 carat diamond, but for some reason, this isn’t the case. I mean, they don’t say ‘Paris is always a good idea’ for no reason, so why choose a boy who’s only going to be around for a season? Ladies, let’s not commit treason!
There’s no point in trying to salvage whatever is left of your relationship, it’s nothing but a dead end. You’re better off if you just split (no pun intended). In other words, sometimes in life you just need to cut off those who impede your growth and realize that not everyone is meant to be apart of your “forever”. And that’s OK, because I’m sure it’ll be an experience you look back upon when you’ve come to your senses and say “whatever”. So tell that boy shoo, buy yourself a new shoe (heck, maybe even some Jimmy Choo), and board that plane at two! Don’t worry, you can thank me later. Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo!
OK, but in all seriousness, why do women miss out on opportunities that set their soul on fire for relationships that are bound to expire? I know, I know. There are all sorts of reasons to justify the situation, and quite valid ones at that. Like love. It can makes us do crazy things, like stay in a relationship with someone who prevents us from reaching the highest expression of ourselves. This is usually because an unfair standard of convenience has been set, ultimately leaving the girl crumbling under the pressure of having to choose between love and work, or love and leisurely activities like travel.
More often than not, girls who find themselves in this conundrum choose love and the inevitable outcome is a lose-lose situation; not only do they end up broken-hearted, they end up empty-handed. And why wouldn’t it be so? Love is meant to liberate, not bind. As the old saying goes: “If you love something set it free. If it comes back it’s yours. If not, it was never meant to be.”
We should have learned by now from the mistakes of pop culture’s beloved Lauren Conrad, also known as “the girl who didn’t go to Paris” from MTV’s The Hills. In case you’ve never seen the reality show, Lauren, already an intern for Teen Vogue in L.A., turned down an opportunity to work in their Paris office for the summer. Instead, she opted to spend more time with her boyfriend Jason in Malibu as a means to mend their broken relationship. In the end, was their relationship salvaged? Nope. Lauren received some tough love from her boss, Lisa Love, who sarcastically scrutinized her on the matter:
This piece isn’t meant to judge women who choose love over travel, but I can’t help but acknowledge a trend when I see one. It usually goes something like this: the girl gives up a valuable experience abroad for a boy who turns out to be– and pardon my language– a complete loser who is in no shape, way, or form conducive to the betterment of her life. From my observation of when the tables are turned, the opposite usually occurs; the boy either leaves the girl waiting behind until his return or he simply breaks up with her before embarking on his journey. Either way, he pursues his interests and creates new experiences for himself overseas, while the girl is left to figure out her own.
One Humans of New York post that I read last year resonated with me until this day. It was about a woman who embarked on a study abroad trip to Paris against the wishes of her fiancé when presented with an ultimatum:
Why can’t we all be more like this woman? I learned of this strange phenomena of
selling yourself short staying for love while I was in university when, to my dismay, three girls turned down a coveted exchange program. They had fallen under the spell of their boyfriends who magically convinced them to give it all up and stay for the romance. Cut to two years later, these girls are boyfriend-less and bereft of an amazing travel experience. Go figure…
I guess what it comes down to is what you value more: your love life or your experiences. In case you’re wondering, it’s also possible to have both if you’re lucky enough to have met someone worthwhile. The most important thing is that you don’t forget you are your best asset and should be able to invest in yourself in order to enrich your own life. So cut off those dead ends, accept the opportunity outside of your comfort zone, and board that plane to Paris!
P.S. Don’t forget to eat cake while you’re there. Or better yet, a macaron at Ladurée!